


I'm So Tired, My Tired is Tired

by deathbysandblk, lucianowriter



Series: David and Patrick: Disaster Dads [6]
Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Sleep-Deprived Patrick, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-11
Updated: 2019-09-11
Packaged: 2020-10-14 08:48:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20597996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbysandblk/pseuds/deathbysandblk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucianowriter/pseuds/lucianowriter
Summary: Based on the prompt: "why's [blank] in the freezer?"





	I'm So Tired, My Tired is Tired

**Author's Note:**

  * For [davidpatricks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidpatricks/gifts).

> Okay, so this is for my very good friend Julia!!! It's her birthday today! I told her I was gonna write a fic for her birthday and asked her what she wanted and she said she didn't care, but if I wanted, I could write in her Disaster Dads universe. So here we are! One of the prompts that's been on my "ideas" spreadsheet forever set in "Disaster Dads" universe. I really hope I did it justice. I love you, Julia! I hope you had a great birthday!!! 
> 
> I'd also like to thank my good friends Cindy and Mary who I have made co-authors on this story because they helped make it hilarious and more than just a few fragments slapped on a page. 
> 
> Title comes from: https://improvesleeps.com/the-66-best-sleep-jokes-insomnia-one-liners/ which Cindy linked me to when I couldn't come up with a title lakjdfd

If there was one word to describe the state of the Brewer-Rose household at this stage of life, it would be “chaos.” And if there was one word to describe the Brewer-Rose dads it would be “exhausted.” Utterly and completely exhausted.

Mariah was in her teething stage and of course, they had anticipated it would be difficult, but knowing that and experiencing it were two vastly different things.

After the instance where David had tried to get Mariah’s bottle ready for a two A.M. feeding and proceeded to make it too hot, dropped the too hot bottle on his foot, and yelled “Ow, FUCK!,” waking the entire house, David was banned from using the bottle warmer before 8 am.

One particularly stressful night, Patrick had barely gotten into bed and closed his eyes, right after giving Mariah her bottle, when she started crying.

Patrick sighed and looked up to the ceiling pleading with the universe to have her stop. Unfortunately, it didn’t work, and David groaned and nudged him. 

“Paaaaatrick,” he whined. 

“I know, I know, David. I’m working on it.”

He got back out of bed and returned to her crib, picking her up. Carrying her into the kitchen, he walked to the freezer and grabbed her teething ring, hoping it would help soothe her aching gums. 

He sat down with her in the rocking chair, humming gently, with Mariah contentedly “chowing down” on her teething ring. He realized he was sitting on something and stood up to find Mariah’s lovey. 

He took his seat again, rocking her, and playing with the lovey, which she was making grabby motions for. 

They sat and did this for about fifteen minutes, and things were peaceful and quiet. Eventually, Patrick decided he could try to put her back in her crib.

He stood up, gently lowered Mariah into her crib, and slowly, quietly walked away. He yawned and wandered into the kitchen, needing to clean off the teething ring before putting it back in the freezer.

As he headed to the sink, he realized he still had Mariah’s lovey with him. He just needed to set it down on the counter so it wouldn’t get wet, and then, once he got this ring rinsed off and put back in the freezer, maybe he could finally get some highly sought after sleep. 

Having done all of that, he trudged off back to his bed and his head barely hit the pillow before he was fast asleep.

***

David awoke to Mariah’s loud crying. He snuck a glance of his poor, tired out husband fast asleep in their bed and smiled, relieved to see he was finally getting some well-needed rest. 

Not wanting to wake him, he hurriedly went to Mariah’s crib and picked her up, carrying her to the kitchen to get her a bottle. 

Eloise was already awake, getting ready for school. “Abba, where’s Daddy? Why isn’t he up? He’s gonna be late!”

“Daddy had a late night with Mariah so let’s try to be extra quiet this morning so we don’t wake him, okay?”

David finished warming up Mariah’s bottle and tested it to make sure it wasn’t too hot. He’d learned from his past mistakes. As he did that, Eloise poured herself a bowl of her favorite cereal and sat down at the table to eat. David, with Mariah in tow, soon joined her, feeding Mariah her bottle. 

“I’m gonna take you to school today, Eloise, so hopefully your daddy can get a few extra minutes of sleep, okay? Do you have everything you need for school?”

“Yeah, Abba, Daddy made my lunch last night.”

“Good, that’s good! Can you do me a favor and grab Mariah’s lovey from her crib while I get her changed and into her carseat?”

“Of course, Abba!”

Eloise runs into the nursery and when she isn’t back right away, David wonders if she forgot what she was supposed to be doing. 

“Eloise?” he calls, trying desperately to be quiet so as to not wake Patrick up.

“Abba, I can’t find it. It’s not here.”

“Can you come and watch Mariah for a second? I’ll take a look.”

The two of them switch places and David searches frantically. He emerges from the nursery saying, “What on  _ earth?!  _ I know it was in there yesterday! What could have happened to it?”

David checks on Mariah, who is kicking away in her carseat, and then he and Eloise started searching all the rooms in the house. Eloise, in the kitchen, calls out, “I didn’t find her lovey, but I found her teething ring, do you need that, Abba?”

“Her teething ring? Where did you find that? I thought that was in the freezer...” David said, confusedly.

“It was on the counter.”

David’s eyebrows furrowed. Were they being haunted? Was the ghost of someone from his past moving items around his house to send a message to him? Did he have to kill Stevie? Whatever was going on, David did  _ not _ have time for it this morning.

“Well, let me put this is the freezer for a little bit before we head out. It’s better for it to be a little cold than not cold at all!”

David opened the freezer and stared at the contents in amazed confusion. There, in the freezer, was Mariah’s lovey, frozen to the touch. 

Just as he was trying to wrap his head around what the  _ fuck _ was going on, Patrick came out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes, and yawning, his hair all mussed up. 

“Patrick, do you have any idea why Mariah’s lovey is in the freezer?”

Patrick stared at him blankly for a moment and then gasped. 

“Oh my god! I must’ve done that! I had both the teething ring and the lovey in my hand and I went to rinse the teething ring, but I must’ve accidentally rinsed off the lovey instead. I’m so sorry, David.”

David just stood there, a blank expression on his face, until both himself and Eloise burst out laughing. 

Patrick’s face was bright red from how hard he was blushing but then eventually, he joined in laughing too. It was pretty funny, after all, how frazzled his brain had become in his sleep-deprived state. 

“We can just wash it, right? And it’ll be good as new?” he asked. 

“Probably,” David said with a smile. He walked up to his husband and gave him a big hug. 

“Are you feeling better today or are you gonna hang our good china on a clothesline?”

“Clothesline? David, we don’t even have a clothesline!”

“Oh, just let me have this!” He looked around to make sure Eloise wasn’t looking and then he leaned in and whispered in Patrick’s ear, “Maybe you’re not the only morosexual in this relationship.”

Patrick’s eyes went wide and David winked and then they finished getting ready for work and school, and headed off, ready to face the day.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr @steviebuddisalesbian (although, I haven't been there a whole lot lately) or you can find me on twitter @anderperry4ever!!!


End file.
